“Madam peechey se shirt uthi hui hai”- An open letter to the women of Jammu

Pawas Verma

Dear Women of Jammu, I hereby wish to seek five minutes of your busy day and I hope I do it right.

Have you ever been molested? Well, you are a woman, of course you must have.

When you were a kid, a distant uncle of yours groped you every time and being a little girl you were so afraid to tell it to your mom but after a few months you did and what you feared didn’t happen. She didn’t scold you and you heaved a sigh of relief even if the tears were rolling down your cheek when you recalled those horrendous days. Your own mother just told you one thing. “Keep mum, don’t tell your dad.” And you were happy with that decision imposed on you and till date you haven’t told anybody till date.

When you were in school, that uncle started visiting you often. Well you were growing up and so was your body, and so was his lust. Of course he had to visit every day. Your mom started talking less to him but he would only come when she wasn’t home. Earlier you just used to cry, now you got angry. With every ounce of strength in your body you used to struggle to get rid of his ugly touches but you were so little. How could you even think of fighting him back? You grew up, ignoring, reacting, struggling, crying, forgetting- all in secrecy.

When you joined college, a guy used to stalk you every day when you drove back home. “Madam pichey se shirt uth gayi hai aapki. Mujhe sab dikh raha hai” is what the guy sitting next to him on the bike would say.  And that used to happen every day and you stopped getting annoyed. Why? Because it happened with everybody and you thought this is the way things happen. Your mom said, “Ignore kartey hai, kuch bolna nahi, kal ko baat zyada bad gayi toh?” and you had to choose to opt the unacceptable option of silence.

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Now as well, when you walk alone in some lonely street of Gandhi Nagar or Trikuta Nagar, you fear and you pray that nobody should see you walking down the lane alone. Because again you would not be able to help it, you are too weak to slap him back and your mom is too fearful of what society would say or what if your father blames her that she doesn’t know how to raise a child?

I remember a friend who was molested 8 years ago while coming back from school. She doesn’t know his face but she remembers his hands that tried to touch her every body part. She told her mom and dad and her dad didn’t talk to her for a few days. The society, family, friends, they always ask you not to raise your voice, What if someone hears? What if “they” get to know?

No, we can’t do that anymore.

Dear Women of Jammu, stop holding back yourself the way you are taught. Speak up and unshackle yourself from the constraints of the society.

He touched you? Why didn’t you slap him back?

He passed a comment on you. Can’t you scream?

He is looking at you. Why do you have to bow down your head in guilty?

He teased you? Why didn’t you kick him in the balls?

You do not have to put up with any crap this society gives you. You can raise your voice because you live for yourself and not the society. You do not have to care what they think. If you let your rage slip away now, you would always be surrendering yourself to injustice.  I am sorry to say that you might be fighting alone but you still have to.

When your mom says “it’s okay, things happen with girls.” Tell her that No!! it is not okay for you and it should not be okay with her either.

If he dares to threaten you, kick him, even beat him to death but do not just stay quiet.

Do not bow down in fear. Make “them” feel the shame.

Can’t you take a stand for yourself???

Image Courtesy – healingheartfoundationng.files.wordpress.com


4 thoughts on ““Madam peechey se shirt uthi hui hai”- An open letter to the women of Jammu

  • February 13, 2015 at 1:04 am

    Really a great empathy displayed by the writer . I would like to add one thing , we should love our culture which has entailed a dress code for woman . our daughters , sisters should always cover their body suitably so that ugly gestures are hampered , further people should raise against such eve teasers and culture of mutual care should be ensured by talimg such people to task. Entire country should adopt this

  • February 13, 2015 at 12:03 pm

    Great article ………

  • February 13, 2015 at 12:05 pm

    But girls should also understand that they should cover some of their body parts

  • February 16, 2016 at 7:39 pm

    Decent article…..bt one should also bhi dressed accordingly…… I mean to say Jaisa desh waisa bhesh


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